Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
My Face
so this one has been a long time coming. besides being told my two of my closest friends almost constantly that they hate my face (i swear they were separated at birth), i also.. hate.. er.. mostly dislike my face. not cuz its on my head and not cuz i think its ugly, but just cuz it doesnt cooperate with me. first of all, what. the. hell. is with all these damn freckles? FREAKLES is more like it! i think they are adorable on anyone else, but jeebus christos! do i need to have so friggen many? they're gross. the end. dont bother trying to say anything to the contrary cuz i will just delete your comment anyway.
second of all, and the reason for this rant, is my sad skin condition! i am on a serious search for a good exfoliating facial mask or scrub cuz my chin and nose look like a strawberry.. not red, just covered with sad angry little black seeds. ive always had blackheads and for whatever reason i have decided that right now i am taking them on and not giving up until i win! so far though, they win. hence the need for a good mask and/or scrub.
and thirdly somewhere in my genetics and too much sunburn on my forehead over the course of my life (and its been BAD, believe me! big angry sad sunburn that cracks like the floor of the death valley or huge nasty blisters that are only more embarrassing than they are painful - and oh yea, they are painful.. sorry, getting off track here) i got these ginormous triple h-like creases in my forehead. i constantly look like im angry or thoughtful or confused SOLELY based on my forehead wrinkles.. they are big scary lines from one side of my forehead to the other and then angry short ones that go from top to bottom right in the middle.. its the one thing that actually makes me think that my dad is actually my dad and it might not be bob deniro as i previously thought. lets not jump to any crazy conclusions though.. again it could just be from all the sunburns.
so to you, my face, SCREW YOU! you are spotty and even worse spotty and wrinkly and you need to knock it the hell off! 31.. cough.. i mean 25 is as good an age as any to start taking better care of my skin so that goal has been added to my list of things to do this year. im taking my face back to make it a face im proud to tell the two face-haters in my life that they are crazy, and that they love my face just like i do :) or at least they will when i do.
and that my sweet faced blog viewers is what perturbs my panda.
(please note that i am not anywhere near as hard on anyone else's face as i am of my own. besides hilary swank, i cannot think of another face that i hate.)
second of all, and the reason for this rant, is my sad skin condition! i am on a serious search for a good exfoliating facial mask or scrub cuz my chin and nose look like a strawberry.. not red, just covered with sad angry little black seeds. ive always had blackheads and for whatever reason i have decided that right now i am taking them on and not giving up until i win! so far though, they win. hence the need for a good mask and/or scrub.
and thirdly somewhere in my genetics and too much sunburn on my forehead over the course of my life (and its been BAD, believe me! big angry sad sunburn that cracks like the floor of the death valley or huge nasty blisters that are only more embarrassing than they are painful - and oh yea, they are painful.. sorry, getting off track here) i got these ginormous triple h-like creases in my forehead. i constantly look like im angry or thoughtful or confused SOLELY based on my forehead wrinkles.. they are big scary lines from one side of my forehead to the other and then angry short ones that go from top to bottom right in the middle.. its the one thing that actually makes me think that my dad is actually my dad and it might not be bob deniro as i previously thought. lets not jump to any crazy conclusions though.. again it could just be from all the sunburns.
so to you, my face, SCREW YOU! you are spotty and even worse spotty and wrinkly and you need to knock it the hell off! 31.. cough.. i mean 25 is as good an age as any to start taking better care of my skin so that goal has been added to my list of things to do this year. im taking my face back to make it a face im proud to tell the two face-haters in my life that they are crazy, and that they love my face just like i do :) or at least they will when i do.
and that my sweet faced blog viewers is what perturbs my panda.
(please note that i am not anywhere near as hard on anyone else's face as i am of my own. besides hilary swank, i cannot think of another face that i hate.)
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Germs
And so begins another edition of What Perturbs My Panda. Germs. Germ germy germs. some ungrateful little jerk of a germ has completely taken over my body. it started last saturday when i was freezing and felt like i couldnt warm myself up. then with temperature changes and a flight with random coughers and sneezers, i really started to feel it. it took a couple more days and then when realizing that i had said "im just fighting a cold" when people at work told me (in the sweetest way possible) that i looked like death about 15 times, i found that i was not fighting it, it was kicking my butt. i know, its just a cold, what am i whining about, right? well screw you! then dont read my blog!
i powered through thursday and friday and then finally friday night i succumbed. through medicine, nasal sprays, and breathe right strips stuck to my nose, i tried and tried to fight it. sneeze sneeze cough sniffle blow sneeze sniffle blow cough cough sneeze.. on and on.. headaches, body aches, face aches, man-voice, low tolerance to anything that didnt involve me sleeping.. i was full on sick. i went to sleep between seven and eight on friday night and did not get up besides to go to the bathroom or get more juice until about 9:30 this morning. and im still gross.
*gross tmi warning*
ive hacked up the nastiest shit and have had my boogies be every color. clear, yellow, green, orange, brown and even the dreaded red, ive had them all. thank god for lotioned tissues! otherwise my sniffer would be as ginger as my hair. [sidenote: in all my laziness and half-sleepiness i have watched a lot of tv this weeekend. i kept seeing a commercial for canada dry ginger ale "claiming" to be made from real ginger. its not even red. get a clue.]
what really blew my mind was this was the time my normally super sweet ten year old sweety pie of a daughter decided to act like a fifteen year old pain in the ass with pms. who picks on their mom when they are sick? im always sweet to her when she doesnt feel good. had i had the energy to get up, she may have been murdered. lucky for her i went back to sleep and she got to live another day. so i am writing this hoping that my germs are almost dead and that even though this whole weekend was a bust, that my week gets better.
so screw you germs, go find someone else to harass (just not anyone that can blame me for getting them sick!) and leave me alone! i never invited you in and i would gladly show you to the door, if i could get out from under this blankey and pile of used tissues. *achoo*
and that, blog readers that think i am just a whiney sick person, is what perturbs my panda.
i powered through thursday and friday and then finally friday night i succumbed. through medicine, nasal sprays, and breathe right strips stuck to my nose, i tried and tried to fight it. sneeze sneeze cough sniffle blow sneeze sniffle blow cough cough sneeze.. on and on.. headaches, body aches, face aches, man-voice, low tolerance to anything that didnt involve me sleeping.. i was full on sick. i went to sleep between seven and eight on friday night and did not get up besides to go to the bathroom or get more juice until about 9:30 this morning. and im still gross.
*gross tmi warning*
ive hacked up the nastiest shit and have had my boogies be every color. clear, yellow, green, orange, brown and even the dreaded red, ive had them all. thank god for lotioned tissues! otherwise my sniffer would be as ginger as my hair. [sidenote: in all my laziness and half-sleepiness i have watched a lot of tv this weeekend. i kept seeing a commercial for canada dry ginger ale "claiming" to be made from real ginger. its not even red. get a clue.]
what really blew my mind was this was the time my normally super sweet ten year old sweety pie of a daughter decided to act like a fifteen year old pain in the ass with pms. who picks on their mom when they are sick? im always sweet to her when she doesnt feel good. had i had the energy to get up, she may have been murdered. lucky for her i went back to sleep and she got to live another day. so i am writing this hoping that my germs are almost dead and that even though this whole weekend was a bust, that my week gets better.
so screw you germs, go find someone else to harass (just not anyone that can blame me for getting them sick!) and leave me alone! i never invited you in and i would gladly show you to the door, if i could get out from under this blankey and pile of used tissues. *achoo*
and that, blog readers that think i am just a whiney sick person, is what perturbs my panda.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
DVR's & Network TV
So for my first angry rant, i thought i would use what most recently perturbed my panda. stupid dvr's and lame ass network tv. dvr's are becoming more and more popular and most people, because of their busy schedules (and maybe their hate of commercials) record their shows, and watch them at a time that they are not normally on. so you would think that network tv would try to make sure that their show runs in their allotted time and doesnt extend past their scheduled thirty or sixty minute window when it is being recorded. or that maybe dvr's could be a little flexible and go a couple minutes over the scheduled end time just to be safe.
not so tonight. you win abc and lost. oh yea and screw you too comcast. because of my short attention span and my ever-present a.d.d., with lost being a show that you have to pay attention to, i have been re-watching the previous episode and then watching the new one so i remember right where they left off when i start watching the new one. it also has been surprising me how much i miss when i watch it the first time around. anyway, so i re-watched last week's episode, got all ready for tonight's and then turned it on. the stupid friggen dvr cut off right at the end, so not only did i not see the end of the episode but *gasp* i also didnt get to see the preview for next week!
although i can guess that the preview was something like a quick pan of everyone on the show followed by the infamous "questions will be answered" line they keep telling us every week, im still left not knowing what i missed at the end of the episode! sure, its probably going to be on demand or online tomorrow and i can watch the last couple minutes, but until then, my crazy jelly bean fueled brain is free to run wild and guess what happened...
did aliens crash into the temple? did everyone wake up and it turns out the whole show was a virtual reality mind f*ck to everyone that has been loyally watching since season one? did anyone spontaneously explode? or IMplode?? did a panda show up? cuz that would have been the perfect opportunity for a panda to show up, you know, when my dvr cuts out on me.. did the island move again? did desmond come back and save everyone? ugh did juliet turn into a zombie, dig herself out of her shallow grave and come back to eat everyone's brains? really.. it could be anything at this point.
so to you comcast, abc, and lost.. SCREW YOU! thanks for making me a crazy nut job and letting my mind go buck wild until i can actually see what happened (and then wish that it was that a panda showed up).. when i set my dvr to record a show, i want it to record the WHOLE show and not just cut out when the channel guide says its supposed to be over. the channel guide is not the ruler of the universe and clearly it has its flaws. im off to come up with more crazy theories..
and that my bored blog readers is what really perturbs my panda.
not so tonight. you win abc and lost. oh yea and screw you too comcast. because of my short attention span and my ever-present a.d.d., with lost being a show that you have to pay attention to, i have been re-watching the previous episode and then watching the new one so i remember right where they left off when i start watching the new one. it also has been surprising me how much i miss when i watch it the first time around. anyway, so i re-watched last week's episode, got all ready for tonight's and then turned it on. the stupid friggen dvr cut off right at the end, so not only did i not see the end of the episode but *gasp* i also didnt get to see the preview for next week!
although i can guess that the preview was something like a quick pan of everyone on the show followed by the infamous "questions will be answered" line they keep telling us every week, im still left not knowing what i missed at the end of the episode! sure, its probably going to be on demand or online tomorrow and i can watch the last couple minutes, but until then, my crazy jelly bean fueled brain is free to run wild and guess what happened...
did aliens crash into the temple? did everyone wake up and it turns out the whole show was a virtual reality mind f*ck to everyone that has been loyally watching since season one? did anyone spontaneously explode? or IMplode?? did a panda show up? cuz that would have been the perfect opportunity for a panda to show up, you know, when my dvr cuts out on me.. did the island move again? did desmond come back and save everyone? ugh did juliet turn into a zombie, dig herself out of her shallow grave and come back to eat everyone's brains? really.. it could be anything at this point.
so to you comcast, abc, and lost.. SCREW YOU! thanks for making me a crazy nut job and letting my mind go buck wild until i can actually see what happened (and then wish that it was that a panda showed up).. when i set my dvr to record a show, i want it to record the WHOLE show and not just cut out when the channel guide says its supposed to be over. the channel guide is not the ruler of the universe and clearly it has its flaws. im off to come up with more crazy theories..
and that my bored blog readers is what really perturbs my panda.
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